n this day and age, matchmaking is no longer done socially, through friends and family. Today, rather than meeting through a mutual friend, most matchmaking is done via computer algorithms. Though the world of online dating can be an absolute mess, it can also be pretty effective at helping people find “the one.” With over 2,500 dating apps in the US alone, and almost 8,000 worldwide, online dating has become an incredibly common way of meeting a significant other. "A nationally representative 2017 survey of American adults found that about 39 percent of heterosexual couples reported meeting their partner online, compared to 22 percent in 2009" (Shashkevich, n.d.).
From Match.com to Tinder, OkCupid, J-Date, Bumble, and Hinge, I’ve done my fair share of online dating. Personally, I haven’t had much luck yet, but I know many people who have, including my sister and brother-in-law.
The Pros and Cons
Below are some pros and cons of online dating:
- You have access to a larger group of potential matches, allowing you to expand your options beyond your social circle.
- Pros: It allows you to connect with individuals you wouldn’t normally meet.
- Cons: It’s easy to get overwhelmed with so many options, and you might get stuck searching for the “perfect match” instead of deeply exploring a relationship with someone specific.
- It allows you to be picky – you can usually edit your dating profile settings to show people who match specific criteria important to you (e.g., race, religion, height, career, if you want kids, etc.).
- Pros: You spend less time interacting with people who aren’t your type and can focus more energy on matches with real potential for a lasting relationship.
- Cons: Sometimes we think we know what we want, but we don’t. Being too particular might prevent amazing people who could be great matches from showing up on your radar.
- You can vet someone before meeting in person.
- Pros: This is safer than just meeting someone at a bar. You can get to know them better online and save time by avoiding people you don’t click with. Computer-mediated communication allows for safe and convenient interactions.
- Cons: Communicating mainly online misses out on important non-verbal cues like facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice.
- It’s not face-to-face, which can be great for shy people.
- Pros: You can plan your messages and not feel put on the spot. Rejection online may also hurt less than in person, saving your ego.
- Cons: Some people aren’t great at online communication, and their persona online may not match their true selves. Others may thrive more in face-to-face interactions.
- You won’t be stuck on a date with someone you find unattractive.
- Pros: At the very least, you’ll be looking at someone you find physically appealing.
- Cons: You might dismiss someone based solely on their appearance, missing out on someone with an amazing personality that you might grow to find attractive.
Give it a try!
I used to feel embarrassed to try online dating. I thought it was desperate. But now I realize, from personal experience, just how hard it can be to meet people I click with romantically in everyday life. Online dating allows me to stay at home, cuddle my cat, and still be social and search for a partner, all from the comfort of my own bed. I’ve had some interesting, some horrible, and some awesome experiences with online dating. If you haven’t tried it yet, I definitely suggest giving it a shot. What’s the worst that could happen? You can always delete your profile or the app if it’s not for you.
Be open-minded. You never know who you’ll meet. Good luck swiping!
xoxo,
Talya
