ear SMV,
I was motivated to attend your amazing event last night because I resonate deeply with what SMV stands for. I wanted to share my life-altering experience related to a few topics you touched on at the event.
First, let’s talk about body image. As a singer, I spent five months in China, performing every night in nightclubs from 2018 to 2019, followed by two months of solo travel in Thailand and Vietnam. During my time in China, I received a text from my boss stating that I needed to lose 15 pounds in 10 days to keep my job. At the time, I hadn’t even earned enough to afford my plane ticket home. I was 115 pounds, yet doctors there told me I was obese. Although I understood that body types vary across cultures, it was disheartening not to be accepted for how I looked.
The pressure to conform to the local beauty standards became overwhelming. I lost the weight and managed to keep it off, but upon returning to America, I noticed how differently people treated me. I attracted a different crowd—more "popular" individuals who invited me to hang out and attend events. Girls would ask me how I achieved my look, and I received countless compliments about resembling a model. Yet, I was the most unhappy and insecure I had ever been.
This experience made me realize how distorted our perceptions of beauty can be. Ironically, I felt more confident when I was 15 pounds heavier. Since then, I've gained the weight back, adopted a healthy, balanced diet, and I’m far happier now. I’m attracting the kind of people I truly want in my life. I strongly support and encourage women to accept themselves as they are while maintaining their health. Changing your appearance doesn’t lead to self-acceptance; I've learned this from personal experience.
Witnessing the standardized image of beauty in China was eye-opening. I spent so much time on makeup, trying to compensate for what I believed was unattractive based on others’ opinions. For a long time, I considered getting a nose job, but seeing so many similar faces helped me appreciate the uniqueness of my own features and how they contribute to my identity on a global scale. The trends of makeup, skin bleaching, and social media filters made me question our culture, revealing a lack of authenticity and individuality.
I’ve since simplified my makeup routine, sometimes going weeks without wearing any at all, and it feels liberating. I often receive more compliments when I’m bare-faced. Living in China, I couldn’t understand advertisements, which freed me from the temptation to buy things I didn’t need. I didn’t have access to social media or streaming services, which was incredibly liberating and saved me money! Recognizing what I wasn’t helped me gain perspective.
I have immense love for China and my experiences there. It is a beautiful country with amazing people and values that we often overlook in North America. My time there shaped me into who I am today, and I’m grateful for it. While I still struggle with body image at times, I can now discuss it openly and hold myself accountable for my mental health. I’ve developed coping mechanisms and daily habits that help me thrive, one of my favorites being writing every morning. Today, I chose to write to you, SMV. Committing to three pages every morning has greatly benefited my mental health and helped me achieve my goals as a singer and now songwriter. I encourage everyone to give it a try.
Lastly, I want to touch on the benefits of solo travel. It’s more doable than people think! When I broke my phone and had no technology for four days in Thailand, those turned out to be the best days of my trip. Seeing how many people followed my journey through the photos I posted was inspiring. I received numerous messages from people booking their first plane tickets overseas, which was incredibly humbling. My journey wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows, but it fostered personal growth, and I hope to inspire others to seek discomfort for their own development.
If you made it this far, thank you for taking the time to read my story!
Happy New Year!
Emma Negrete
