Find out why you ended up being the person you are today

Aug 19, 2020
Written by
AMBER SABOURIN
Photographed by
W

e are born into the world as nothing. This pure, innocent being that has yet to become someone. Raised into the principles and values of many generations of our family and what’s happened to us along the way. Everything that has happened to us up to this point has moulded us and shaped us into the people we are right now. The good, the bad, and the in between. 

A lot of us recognize these traits in ourselves and even recognize the way we are that is completely opposite than the way our families are. These are the ways we wound up being from what’s happened to us. Some of us conform to the ways of our family and others rebel against this way and decide to live in a completely opposite way. Some of us use the past of our generations as motivation and drive to be a whole new way to break the cycle of the past. And some of us feel we need to repeat the past and follow in the footsteps of our family. 

What most of us don’t realize is that we have a say in the way the present and future goes. And it does not have to appear the way the past has. Easier said than done right? Well the reality is, if we don’t want the past ways to repeat themselves we really need to become present to the way the past has been serving us and that it’s always going to be the way it is unless we decide to break that cycle and create and fulfill a new way of being in those moments of time. All of these ways serve us in both positive and negative ways. Some being more positive and others being more negative. 

As for myself one way I wound up being is stubborn. And there are times that being stubborn services me and there are other times that it disservices me and causes some form of upset in me. I wound up being stubborn in many ways but the one way that sticks out most to me is how I always got my way growing up. And now I do what-ever it takes to get my way. This allows me to be a powerful force of nature and someone that almost anyone will say yes to and on the other hand some people say yes to me for all of the wrong reasons and that is so disheartening. As someone who also wound up being so lovable it breaks my heart knowing people say yes to me because of my stubbornness. In these moments of being disheartened I ponder if this is a way of being I want to carry forward with me or if there is opportunity to be a different way in situations like these that empowers those I interact with to say yes to me because they want to, not because I am stubborn and always get what I want. 

As we grow, we will discover new ways that we wound up being and come to a conclusion if we want to continue to live in that way or create a new way of being. We will come into situations where conflict arises with our family and friends with this new way of being. And that is completely okay. Give them the space to adapt and accept you for your new way of being. It is going to take them twice as long to adjust as it did for you. Give yourself the space to fully adapt to this new way of being. When times get tough remind yourself of the choice you made in the first place to let go of the way you wound up being and the disservice it is to you and those you love. Remind yourself of what’s possible out of the creation of this new way of being. 

The way you wound up being does not have to be the way you are today. You can powerfully choose to be whoever you want to be today, tomorrow and always. Go out there, choose, live and be free from your past. 

I want to acknowledge Landmark Worldwide and all their teachings which introduced many conversations to be had and became the clearing I needed to discover the way I wound up being.


Love Always,
Amberly 

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