e are born into the world as nothing—pure, innocent beings that have yet to become someone. We are raised with the principles and values of many generations of our family and shaped by what’s happened to us along the way. Everything that has happened to us up to this point has molded and shaped us into the people we are right now: the good, the bad, and the in-between.
Many of us recognize these traits in ourselves and even see ways in which we are completely different from our families. These are the ways we’ve become who we are from what’s happened to us. Some of us conform to our family’s ways, while others rebel and choose a completely opposite path. Some of us use our family’s past as motivation to create a new way of being and break the cycle, while others feel compelled to repeat the past and follow in their footsteps.
What most of us don’t realize is that we have a say in how the present and future unfold. It does not have to mirror the past. Easier said than done, right? The reality is, if we don’t want the past to repeat itself, we need to become present to how the past has served us. It will remain the same unless we decide to break that cycle and create and fulfill a new way of being. All of these ways serve us in both positive and negative ways, with some being more positive and others more negative.
As for myself, one way I’ve become is stubborn. There are times when being stubborn serves me and times when it disservices me and causes some form of upset. The way that stands out most is how I always got my way growing up, and now I do whatever it takes to get my way. This makes me a powerful force of nature, someone that almost anyone will say yes to. On the other hand, some people say yes to me for all the wrong reasons, which is disheartening. As someone who is also very lovable, it breaks my heart to know that people may say yes to me because of my stubbornness. In these moments of being disheartened, I wonder if this is a way of being I want to carry forward or if there is an opportunity to be different in situations like these, empowering others to say yes to me because they want to, not because I am stubborn and always get what I want.
As we grow, we will discover new ways we’ve become and decide whether to continue living that way or create a new way of being. We will encounter conflict with family and friends as we adopt this new way of being, and that is completely okay. Give them the space to adapt and accept you for your new way of being. It will take them twice as long to adjust as it did for you. Give yourself the space to fully adapt to this new way of being. When times get tough, remind yourself of the choice you made to let go of the old way of being and the disservice it caused to you and those you love. Remind yourself of what’s possible from creating this new way of being.
The way you’ve become does not have to define who you are today. You can powerfully choose to be whoever you want to be today, tomorrow, and always. Go out there, choose, live, and be free from your past.
I want to acknowledge Landmark Worldwide and all their teachings, which introduced many conversations and became the clearing I needed to discover the way I’ve become.
Love Always,
Amberly
