The end goal isnโt to love your body 24/7. Itโd be great, sure, but itโs unrealistic. And to be honest, itโs not really necessary. The key to body acceptance is recognizing that you are so much more than your appearance. Itโs recognizing that what you look like is, quite honestly, the least interesting thing about you.
Do you hang out with people just because you find them attractive? Are you in a relationship with someone just because they have a hot body? Sure, maybe itโs something you were initially drawn to, but is that why you choose to stay with them? Iโm guessing the answer is no.
Iโll let you in on a little secret: people do not love you for the size of your body. They donโt care if you have stretch marks, cellulite, or acne. They donโt care if your belly jiggles, folds, or bends. They donโt care if you have the whitest teeth or the longest eyelashes. People do not choose to be around you because of what you look like.
Itโs hard to comprehend this when there is an industry worth over 60 billion dollars trying to convince you otherwise. Women, in particular, have been raised in a culture that teaches them that their appearance is what matters most. Weโve been taught that if weโre not pretty and thin, then weโre a nobody. Worthless. Undesirable. Unlovable. Weโll never be happy, never be successful, never find love.
Not only that, but our society has created this beauty ideal that is completely unrealistic and unattainable. Thin, but not too thin. Curves, but only in the butt and breasts. Muscle definition, but not too masculine. No cellulite. No stretch marks. No jiggle, except on the booty of course. Pearly white teeth. Defined cheekbones. No pimples. No scars. Nothing human.
We all know itโs impossible to achieve this look of perfection. We all know the images in the media are highly edited and photoshopped. Yet we still feel horrible that we donโt look like that girl in the magazine. We still spend hours in front of the mirror, critiquing ourselves from head to toe. We still put ourselves through countless diets and spend hours at the gym. We still think if we could just reach that weight, if we could just reach that size, then we would be happy. Then we would be confident. Then everyone will like us and admire us.
We have our worth tied to our appearance. Thatโs the problem.
Guess what? You were not put on this earth to sit there and look pretty. Your worth is not measured by the size of your jeans or how you look in a bikini. You are a person. A friend. A spouse. A daughter. A parent. A sister. Kind. Smart. Funny.
You are more than a body.
I do believe you are beautiful. I would love for you to believe that as well. But more importantly, I want you to realize that your beauty is not the most impressive thing about you. I want you to go to the beach and take in the beautiful scenery instead of worrying about what you look like in a bathing suit. I want you to be able to run out the door in the morning instead of taking an hour to cover yourself in makeup first.
I want you to enjoy going out for ice cream with your kids or grabbing a drink with friends without thinking about the calories or feeling guilty afterward. I want you to feel pleasure during sex instead of thinking about how your body is looking or if your partner can see your cellulite. I want you to move your body to celebrate what it can do instead of using it as a punishment for what you ate. I want you to look back at a photo and think, โWow, that day was so fun!โ instead of โOh my god, I look terrible.โ
I want you to know that you are absolutely amazing and that it has nothing to do with your appearance. I donโt think you need to fall in love with your body.
Iโd rather you fall in love with your life.
